Till We Meet Again
by Sasha.Rizzoli
Summary: Fresh out of college, Olivia Benson is starting Police Academy where she meets the most handsome man she has ever set eyes on. They hit it off, only for Olivia’s life to be turned upside down. Will they ever see each other again?
1. First Day Jitters

**A/N: Co-authored by SVUbaby19 and OE-shipper-2006. Please read and review!!!**

**Disclaimer: If we owned the show then we would be rich and buying everything we ever dreamed of. But we don't own anything so we ain't rich.**

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Olivia Marie Benson walked in to the police academy for her first day. She was so nervous because she didn't know anyone. Her best friends Casey and Alex were going to law school. She had always been really shy, but she was determined to try and make friends. After all, when she's a cop, she'll need friends for all those hard cases and it also wouldn't hurt for her to know that someone had her back.

Olivia walked in to her first class and there in the back row was the most gorgeous guy that she'd ever seen. He had brown hair and the most beautiful striking cerulean blue eyes. "I wonder what he's name is." She thought to herself. As if he had heard her he looked up and smiled. This wasn't just a friendly 'hi, how are ya' grin, this was a full blown smile, that just happened to make her insides melt. She looked away quickly, making her way to a seat close enough to the front, but far back enough to admire that amazing handsome man that had secretly captured her heart.

Every time she felt him looking at her, she couldn't help but blush. She'd never felt so in love but she was too shy to tell him. Olivia sighed before looking at what the teacher was writing on the board. Noticing she missed a lot of notes, she hurried to catch up. She could feel his eyes on her, and just knew that he was laughing at her rushed actions.

Olivia was so embarrassed, especially when she felt a ball of paper be thrown at her head. She turned around and saw the guy laughing at her. Her cheeks were now a cherry red with embarrassment. But at the same time she was furious. How dare he joke around! Could he not tell how stressed she was? The fact that he wasn't taking her seriously was beginning to unnerve her.

When class came to an end, Olivia got up and walked out before feeling someone grab her wrist. She began to panic.

"Calm down." The guy said.

Olivia turned around and saw him smiling at her. She tried to flash a grin as she said, "Sorry, I'm so jumpy today. Must be first day jitters." She felt like a complete idiot.

The guy smiled. "No harm done. I'm Elliot Stabler."

Olivia smiled back, nervously. "I'm Olivia Benson. Nice to meet you."

"Same here." He replied. "So, is this your first Police Academy class?"

"Yeah." She grinned sheepishly. "Is it that obvious?"

"Yeah just a bit. Wanna go grab a coffee or have you got another class?" He asked with a smile.

Olivia blushed. She couldn't believe how nervous she was in front of this guy. "I've got a free period, so let's go for a coffee."

"Great, I know this place right around the corner. Are you hungry?" Elliot asked intent on keeping her talking.

"No, I had a big breakfast." She replied. Not that I could keep anything down with these nerves, she thought to herself.

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Elliot and Olivia sat in the little coffee shop but no words had been spoken.

"Are you gonna talk?" Elliot asked all of a sudden, trying to get Olivia's attention.

She jumped slightly and grinned. "Sorry, just thinking about class."

"Well give it a rest. We're taking a break, you can't think about Police Academy all the time."

Elliot could easily tell that she was lying but he decided to let it slip so he just nodded.

"So tell me about yourself, Elliot Stabler." Olivia said before taking a sip of her hot coffee.

"Well, not much to know. I'm from Queens. My dad was a cop, so I'm a cop. That's about the only thing I'll allow myself to share with him." Olivia noticed those beautiful eyes suddenly turned a dark color.

Changing the subject she said, "What field would you like to work in?"

"I'd like to work in Special Victims. How about you?"

"Special Victims." She replied with a smile.

"Any specific reason?" He asked, curiously.

It was Olivia's turn to clam up. "I just know someone who was raped, and didn't get any justice. I wanna make sure that doesn't happen again."

"Olivia..." Elliot decided to try and push the subject, knowing that she was hiding something that was hurting her deep inside.

"It's nothing, Elliot. Really." She said in a rush. Looking in his eyes, she knew he wasn't going to let it go. He looked so sincere. So she decided to try and open up to him. What's the worst that could happen?

Olivia took a deep breath. "I'm the product of my mother's rape." She said in a rush before taking a quick glance at her watch. "I've gotta go, I'll see you." She said and rushed out.

"Olivia, wait! Please, talk to me. I'm here to listen, tell me anything." Elliot said after he had chased her down.

"I...I can't." She mumbled before running off. She thought she was ready to have someone besides Casey and Alex knows her deepest, darkest secrets but she wasn't.

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That night at home Olivia kept thinking of her lunch with Elliot. She had told Casey and Alex everything about him EXCEPT the end of the conversation. She wasn't ready to talk about that subject again for the day. Olivia found herself crying herself to sleep that night. She had to talk to her mother and make peace with her. She couldn't fight with her anymore.

The next day she went to class and Elliot tried every way he could think of to get her attention. After class he caught her on her way out and asked her to go for coffee again.

"I...I c-can't..." She mumbled. "I have to see someone else."

"Oh..." was all he could muster up and she walked away with tears in her eyes.

Olivia rushed off as Elliot watched in disbelief. "Olivia!" He tried to call her back but she rushed down the old cracked side walk of a Manhattan street, ignoring his calls.

She had to see her mother. She got to the school where her mother was working to find she was sent home for coming to work drunk. Ashamed, Olivia turned away from the principal and walked to her mother's house. She knocked on the door, only to receive no answer so she used the spare key and walked in. She gasped in shock at what she saw in the living room.


	2. Somebody To Love

**Disclaimer: If we owned it Elliot and Olivia would be going at it like bunnies but they aren't so we don't own it.**

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"Oh my God! Mom!" She cried as she ran in to the living room. Serena Benson was on the floor, unconscious and Olivia was freaking out. Olivia pulled out her phone and dialed 911, while checking for a pulse.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"My name is Olivia Benson. My mother is unconscious, and I cannot find a pulse"

"Ok, We've got an ambulance on the way. Do you know how to do CPR?" The lady on the other end of the line spoke, calmly.

"Yes, of course, I took the class in college."

She positioned her mother flat on her back and tilted her chin up. She then inhaled deeply before giving two deep breaths into her mother's lungs, followed by 30 compressions. Olivia was beginning to freak out more. No matter what she did wasn't helping.

"Please, Mom! Don't leave me!" She begged. Her mother was the only family that she had left.

The paramedics arrived and Olivia sunk in the corner crying. She knew exactly what the EMT was about to say.

"I'm sorry ma'am. It's too late. She's gone."

Olivia rubbed her face in frustration. "NO! No! She can't be!" She whispered as tears began to stream down her olive toned cheeks.

"Ms. Benson, is there anyone you can call? You don't need to be alone right now." The EMT was getting worried that she might go into shock, if she didn't settle down.

Olivia was finding it hard to breath. "No...No-one." She managed to say.

She thought that she was going to faint.

"Ms. Benson? Are you okay? Why don't you come to the hospital with us...let us check you out?"

"No, I can't ride in the ambulance with her. I failed her. I let her die." She replied as she broke down again.

"No Ms. Benson, this is not your fault. Don't blame yourself!"

"You don't get it. It is my fault!" She cried but it made her chest constrict more.

She thought that she would faint any second.

Then it happened. Everything went black. She felt like she was flying. The next thing she knew she was in a hospital bed with Alex and Casey by her side, each holding one of her hands. She had a horrible headache and her lip felt swollen.

She looked at Casey and then at Alex in confusion. "What happened? Why am I in the hospital?"

Casey and Alex both looked at her sadly but didn't say a word.

"What? Please tell me?" She asked, not remembering.

"Livvie, honey. You passed out when you went into shock. You hit your head and busted your lip on the coffee table." Alex calmly told her, tears springing to her eyes.

"Shock? What happened?" Olivia began to panic again.

Casey took a deep breath and caressed the top of Olivia's left hand with her thumb. "Your mother died. You found her on the living room floor, honey."

Olivia trembled. "This isn't funny guys. I know I was mad at her but this is a little extreme."

"Liv, I'm so sorry. We're very serious. The paramedics said you gave her CPR for 10 minutes straight, and that with the shock factor made you pass out." Alex explained, willing her tears to go away for Olivia's sake.

Olivia was now crying hysterically. "No! No! You're lying! Stop lying to me!"

Alex buzzed the nurse while Casey tried to calm Olivia. Neither of them was expecting this bad of a reaction.

Olivia began to pull out her IVs. She was determined to prove her best friends wrong. Her mother, her only family member was not dead. She couldn't be.

She tried to get out of bed, but it was no use. She was so weak from the sedatives; she collapsed to the floor in tears. Casey and Alex moved to help her back into bed, climbing in with her to console her. The nurse came in and re-inserted the IVs and gave her some more sedative. Olivia slowly cried herself to sleep.

Olivia was in the midst of a dream, when she saw her mother.

"Livvie, I love you, never forget that. Take care of youself."

"Mom, why did you have to leave me?"

"Honey, I wasn't happy with who I was. Please, just be brave and live on. I love

you." Serena said and disappeared.

"Mom! Mom!" She kept calling out.

Casey and Alex looked at each other then back at Olivia, who was still sleeping.

A couple of hours later Olivia was still passed out. Alex and Casey were quietly discussing something out of Liv's earshot, just in case she awoke.

"Do you think we should try and find that Elliot guy?" Alex said, looking at Liv knowing just how alone she must be feeling.

"I dunno, they really only met once..." Casey commented.

"I know but she seemed happy with him."

"Well what's his last name?" Casey asked.

Alex rubbed the back of her neck. "It started with an 'S'...Stabler, that's it. Elliot Stabler."

Casey set off to find this Stabler guy leaving Alex with Olivia. About 20 minutes later Casey returned, Elliot in tow. He looked so worried.

"How's she holding up?" He asked. As if hearing his voice, Olivia began to stir.

Olivia looked toward the door. "Hi." She whispered. "How did you know that I was here?" She asked, still sounding a little doped up.

Elliot pasted on that famous smile. "Hi! Casey came and got me. I hope that's alright."

Casey and Alex saw the smile, and knew exactly why Liv was goin' "ga-ga" for this boy.

He sat down in the chair that Casey had been sitting in before, beside the bed and took a hold of her soft, olive toned hand. "I heard about what happened. I'm here for you." He whispered as she caressed the top of her hand.

Alex and Casey slipped out quietly.

"Thanks so much Elliot. But you don't have to waste your time here. I'm sure you have way better things to do then baby-sit me." Olivia looked away, feeling too ashamed to look at him for some reason. She still didn't want to believe that her mother was dead but she now knew that it was true.

"Liv, I would love nothing better than to be here with you. Look at me." Elliot said pulling her chin back around.

Olivia shivered at the sound of her nickname, 'Liv'. It sounded so good when he said it.

Some more tears streamed down the young woman's face and Elliot wiped them away, gently. "Thanks for coming." She whispered.

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Olivia was released a few hours later. Elliot offered to take her back to her place and stay with her for awhile till he knew she was okay. She protested, but Alex and Casey insisted. The next thing she knew she was in his '89 Chevrolet Camero on the way to her apartment.

Olivia unlocked her door and walked in to the living room with Elliot close behind. She suddenly felt exhausted and flopped down on the couch.

"Liv?" Elliot spoke after shutting the door behind him.

"I'm okay. Just really tired. Everything just happened so fast..." Olivia said as she scooted over to make a place for Elliot.

Elliot sat down beside and rubbed her arms. "I know what it feels like to lose a parent so I am here for you." He said as he looked in to her deep mocha eyes.

What Olivia did next surprised not only Elliot but herself too. She climbed into his arms. She began to cry. She cried for her mom. She cried for herself. She cried for Elliot. She even cried because she was letting herself cry. Elliot consoled her every now and then murmuring things like "It's ok, Liv." and "Let it all out sweetie."

Olivia clung on to him tightly as she cried out everything that she had bottled up inside of the years. She felt like the weight of the world on her shoulders was lifting and she eventually fell asleep in Elliot's big, strong arms.

He smiled when he noticed her breathing had regulated. Wondering where her bedroom was, he lifted her up and walked through a door, hoping it was the right one. The room he walked in had cream colored walls with a huge four poster bed. A dark brown color comforter lay perfectly made on the bed. He smiled to himself thinking that the blanket matched her eyes. He laid her down and gently covered her up.

"Elliot?" She murmured.

"Yes, Liv?" He asked, kneeling beside the bed.

"Stay." She whispered before drifting back to sleep.

"Of course" he said as he climbed in the bed with her, not feeling in the least bit awkward. Olivia turned and snuggled into his chest and he protectively wrapped his arms around her.

As she slept, Elliot stroked back her beautiful, soft, long brown hair with blonde highlights. The smell of her shampoo entered his nose. It smelt like strawberries.

After about twenty minutes, Olivia began tossing and turning in her sleep. She was having a dream. She began thrashing around screaming "MOM! No! Please don't let him rape me. Mom, please help me!"

Elliot looked down at her confused. "She was raped?" He thought to himself as he continued to watch her.


	3. Mature Adults

**A/N: This whole story is being written by me and OE-shipper-2006. Please read and review!**

**Disclaimer: Elliot and Olivia aren't going at it like bunnies so we definately don't own it.**

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Olivia's tossing and turning, turned in to whimpers and then screams so Elliot decided to wake her. 

"Liv, wake up. Wake up." He murmured as he gently shook her.

"No, no, no! Don't hit me again pl--" She awoke and saw Elliot. Still a little freaked out she jumped away before realizing who he was.

"It's alright, Liv. It's just me. Are you alright?" He asked in concern.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." She lied through her pearly white teeth.

Noticing the lie Elliot held out his arms. "No you're not, Liv. Talk to me. Who was hurting you?"

"I...I can't talk about it. Please don't make me." She begged sounding like a scared child.

"Ok, sweetie...Just know that I'm here. No matter what." He was scared to push her especially after the day she had already had.

She was shaking in fear. It was obvious that who ever hurt her had threatened her so severely that she was too scared to speak about it.

"Elliot, I think I am gonna have a bath. Will you stay here?" Olivia felt so vulnerable and didn't think she could handle being alone right now.

"Of course, Liv. I'll stay as long as you need. Would you like me to cook you something to eat?" He spoke as he gently caressed her cheeks with his thumbs.

"That'd be so great El. Listen, thanks so much for this. I don't know how I'll ever repay you." Olivia said looking down bashfully.

"Happy to do it, sweetheart." He replied kissing her on the cheek as he walked into the kitchen to begin supper.

Olivia sadly stumbled in to the bathroom, locking the door behind her before turning the taps in the bath on, adjusting the temperature just right. As it filled she stared at the razor beside the bath and was really considering hurting herself. But she shook her head and thought better of it.

She sunk into the warm bath in hope that her problems would melt away. She felt soothed and relaxed for the time being. Soon after that, her thoughts paraded her head in full force. What was she going to do? There was the funeral to plan. Her mother's belongings had to be sorted through...and she was all alone. No siblings to help with anything. No aunts or uncles. No one. Olivia began to cry hysterically.

Elliot could hear her loud crying in the kitchen and ran to the bathroom.

"Livvie, let me in." He begged as he knocked on the door.

"I need to be alone right now." She sobbed.

"No, Liv. You need to be supported and held. Accept the fact that I'm here, honey." Elliot hoped he hadn't pushed her away even more.

He heard the door unlock and he stepped in keeping his head down to reduce awkwardness. Luckily Olivia was wearing a towel.

"I wanna go back in the bath, you can stay if you want or go..." She started rambling. She always did when she was so nervous.

"That's up to you, Liv. Do you want company? I-I mean not COMPANY as in like IN the bathtub, but in the bathroom. You know unless you do--no, no, we barely know each--oh god, let me shut up." Elliot also rambled when he was nervous.

"Elliot, we're both adults. I'm sure you have seen a naked woman before. But I'll understand if you want to leave me...Everyone else does." She mumbled the last three words but Elliot heard.

Elliot tipped her chin up and whispered. "I'm not leaving you Olivia Benson. I promise you that."

"I think I'm in love with you, Elliot Stabler. But we only just met." She whispered in to his crystal blue eyes. "I um...I'm gonna get back in the bath." She said.

Olivia was embarrassed; she didn't mean to tell him that she was falling in love with him. It had just slipped out.

Trying to lighten the mood he joked. "So, I guess you believe in love at first sight?" He chuckled, but then he saw her face. She looked positively crestfallen. She began mumbling her apologies but he 'shhed' her.

"You didn't let me finish...I was going to say that's good cause so do I."

Olivia smiled. It was the first proper smile that Elliot had ever seen.

"Hop back in the bath. I'll be right here." He said and kissed her on the cheek before putting the lid on the toilet down and sitting down on it.

Olivia took off her fluffy pink towel and hopped back in the hot bath.

Elliot tried his hardest to act like it was just another thing to see a naked woman in a bath, but Damn. She was so perfect. Every curve unmistakingly flawless. He gaped at her openly.

She smiled, and intent on making him blush she joked. "Like what you see, Mr. Stabler?"

"I-uh, I'm sorry, uh Olivia" He stammered as a blush crept up his face. She had succeeded in her task and she giggled at a very embarrassed Elliot.

"It's alright, Elliot. I take it as a complement." she said with a smile. Her smile grew bigger when she noticed his growing erection.

"Oh shit...I um- I'm gonna go finish dinner." He hurried out the door leaving Olivia to giggle in peace.

Olivia was falling more and more in love with this man. He was everything she'd every dreamt of.

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She appeared in the kitchen a few minutes later in a red tank top and some blue and red plaid boxers. Her bra strap was peeking out from her shirt and Elliot wanted to die on the spot. "Black lace bra...figures" He thought licking his lips as he took in her appearance.

Olivia saw him lick his lips and blushed. "Hungry there, Stabler?" She asked, seductively.

"Ummm...Ahh...Ummm." Elliot was dumbstrucked. He had no idea what to say. He saw Olivia frown and knew he had to say something. Deciding to flirt back he growled, "Well that depends, Benson...what's on the menu?"

"Mmmmm, what would you like on the menu?" She asked seductively and then winked at him. Her smile grew bigger when she noticed him getting harder.

He walked a little closer and dropped his voice to a whisper he said. "Well, judging by that outfit and the fact that you're biting your bottom lip, I'm gonna assume that I want the same thing you do."

"Mmm it would seem that way, wouldn't it, sexy man?" She laughed.

"Wanna take it in to the bedroom?" He asked.

"But we've only just met, so only if you're comfortable." Olivia replied.

"Well, you are the traumatized one. How about you decide." Elliot growled.

Olivia got dangerously close to Elliot and said, "hmmmmm...let's see." Then she turned around making sure to rub her ass across his erection and walked toward the bed room swaying her hips seductively.


	4. The Call From Nobody

**A/N: We don't own anything that doesn't belong to us. Lol!**

**Please read and review.**

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Elliot and Olivia got to the bedroom when Olivia stopped. "I...I can't do this. I'm so sorry." She sobbed before running in to bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Elliot instantly felt horrible. He knew better. She was too upset and vulnerable. He kicked himself as he walked to the bathroom door, knocking lightly.

"Liv, baby, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"It's not you. It's me. Can you please leave? I need to be alone right now." She sobbed through the bathroom door.

"Ok, Liv. I love you." He said sadly and walked out of the apartment.

Olivia cried for what felt like days. She finally unlocked the bathroom door and grabbed her cell. She called Alex begging her to get Casey and come straight over. Then suddenly she changed her mind and told them she would be fine, and not to worry with coming over. Alex protested, but she knew Liv, and she knew she couldn't be pushed.

Olivia packed a bag with all of the essentials. She grabbed a few suits of clothes, her cell, her keys, and a bottle of water as she headed out the door. She looked back once more at her apartment before locking the door. She caught a cab to the train station and decided to catch a train to anywhere. She didn't care where. She just needed time.

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Elliot was pacing his apartment. He couldn't believe how bad he had fucked everything up. She was just starting to open up to him. Damn her perfect body. "Yeah good job, Stabler, blame your screw up on her." He thought aloud. He decided to sleep till about 10 and call her to make sure she was ok.

Olivia was in some small town upstate in a hotel when her cell phone began to vibrate on the bedside table. She picked it up. 'Elliot' was flashing on front screen of her flip phone. She sighed and decided not to answer it. She knew she owed it to him to be honest, but it was just more than she could take. God, everything was so messed up. It was enough to drive a girl to drink. **No.** She would never be that person. She would never take her aggressions out on the bottle. She was better than that. She cringed knowing that she had just called her deceased mother low.

"God, I'm so messed up." She thought to herself and rubbed her exhausted face. "I need to get my life back on track. I need to start over." She spoke aloud to herself as she paced around the hotel room.

She decided a move was the best idea. She would move up here. Go to Academy and move on with her life. She would work in Albany's Special Victims Unit and live life how she knew she should.

She called the funeral parlor and made the arrangements for her mother's funeral before falling back into the bed and sleeping the rest of the day.

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Two months went by and Olivia was depressed but getting her life back on track. She made a new friend Stacey Smythe and a boyfriend Kyle Kingsley. She didn't really love him like she loved Elliot though.

She was almost done with Academy; she was at the top of her class. She had already had offers from so many bureaus around New York, but she had decided to be as far as away from Manhattan as possible.

Olivia walked in for her first day and was so nervous since the only person she knew in the place was her best friend Stacey. She quickly turned on the professional face as the Captain walked up to her.

"Hi, I'm Olivia Benson." She introduced herself, nervously.

"Hello, I'm Captain Jeffery Bingham. Nice to meet you, are you ready for your first assignment?"

"Yes sir." Olivia replied hesitantly.

"Alrighty then. Here is your partner, Kelsey Johnston." He said as he introduced the tall, fit, blonde haired, blue eyed woman.

"Hello. Nice to meet you." Kelsey greeted her with a smile.

"Hey. Same here. So, shall we get started?" Olivia said, anxious to start her new job.

"Yeah. Let's go. I already know where to go so let's get going." She said and walked out with Olivia following.

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After her first day at work Olivia called Kyle and he came over to watch some movies. She was just getting good and snuggled when her phone rang. It was Elliot. How did he get her new number? She decided to let it ring out and turned it off.

"Who was that baby?" Kyle asked.

Olivia shrugged. "No-body...no-body."

"Oh..." he replied, knowing she wasn't telling the truth, but if he knew anything about this girl, he knew not to push.

"I...um...um...let's just go back to enjoying the movie." Olivia stuttered.

Kyle rubbed her arms and inhaled the strawberry smell of her shampoo as he held her closely. "Sure, baby." He replied and pressed play.

Olivia was content. Happy was too much of a stretch, but she was content. For now. So far she was enjoying her new life, and she only had one regret. And those blue eyes pierced her dreams, EVERY single night. She would lose sleep just thinking about him. She regretted leaving him but she needed to try and move on. She just hoped he didn't hate her for it. Olivia stopped watching the movie as she thought to herself. "I hope he doesn't hate me."

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For Elliot it was quite the contrary. He missed Olivia so much. He couldn't figure out what it was about this woman. He only met her about a week before she took off. He felt like he had known her all his life. He was so lost without her. A hole that couldn't be filled by anyone else was growing bigger inside of him.

He asked Casey and Alex where Olivia went, but they kept telling him the same thing every day. 'We don't know.'

He laid down on his lonely king sized bed and sighed. He had to find Olivia.

Sure, he had called, but she never answered. He left voice mails at her old home number until it was disconnected. He had used his new connections to track down her new cell number, but it was pre-paid. He couldn't get it traced.

He decided to try and move on. He had to. He had no choice. He started as a police officer and was getting in to the swing of things. Elliot Stabler was proud of himself when he made his first arrest.

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_**6 months later**_

Olivia had been at her new job for a little over 6 months, and she was so happy with it. She was already climbing the ladder to the top with her arrest rate. But with one good thing comes one bad. Olivia felt like she and Kyle were drawing further and further apart.

Olivia walked in to her apartment one night to find Kyle sitting on the couch in the living room, in the dark.

"Olivia...we need to talk."

"About what, Kyle?" Asked Olivia, although she knew exactly what was about to happen.

"It's about us. I feel like we are drifting apart, and I don't like it."

Olivia sighed and sat down on the couch beside him. "You're right. I guess you are leaving me then." She whispered the second sentence.

Kyle got up and face away from her for a moment before turning to face her again.

"Just tell me, Olivia. Why do you hold back so much?" he said, starting to get angry. "Why won't you cuddle with me in bed? Did you know you talk in your sleep, Olivia? Yeah, you do. Who is Elliot? That's obviously who you want! The only time you ever responded to my touch you called me by his name. Answer me dammit."

Olivia ran a shaky hair through her long soft brown hair. "I don't know. I'm so screwed up." She whispered, more to herself then him.

Olivia looked away, she couldn't face him anymore.

"Yeah, that I noticed," Kyle said, as he walked out slamming the door.

Olivia got up and walked in to the kitchen, up to the fridge. She opened it and grabbed out a bottle of vodka. She looked at it as she closed the fridge. She was really considering drinking the whole bottle.

Part of her screamed 'Just do it, you know you want to.' But the other half whispered 'No, you aren't her. You don't need that to make everything ok.' She began to cry. Why did everything have to be so fucked up?

Her life was falling apart for the second time in under a year. She couldn't do it alone. Olivia decided that it was time to call Elliot.


	5. Lavender Baths and 'Do Me' Dresses

**Disclaimer: If we owned it, Elliot and Olivia would be going at it like crazy!!!!!!**

**Please read and review!**

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In the past six months Elliot Stabler had became one of the top officers in his department. He had just received news that there was an opening at the Manhattan SVU. He happily accepted it, but couldn't help thinking 'Olivia would be so proud.'

One morning seven months after he'd last seen Olivia, he was sitting at his desk when he saw somebody familiar standing in the squad room doorway.

"Alexandra Cabot! What in the HELL are you doing in MY new squad room?!" Elliot had a huge grin on his face.

"Well Det. Stabler, I do believe you should show me some respect seeing as I'm YOUR Assistant District Attorney!" Alex grinned to show she was only kidding, and walked up to give Elliot a friendly hug.

"Hey. How are you holding up?" She asked, softly.

Elliot sighed. "Fine, I guess. I miss Olivia though."

Alex rubbed his arm in a friendly matter. "She'll come home. When things get tough, she leaves for a while but always come home. Home is where her heart is."

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Three hours away in Albany, Olivia Benson was pacing the floor of her apartment. It was her day off, and all she wanted to do was call and beg Elliot to come and get her. She needed to be saved, and she hated that. She hated feeling like she needed to lean on someone. She grabbed her cell phone and went down in her contacts, stopping on Elliot's name. She nearly pressed the call button but ended up canceling it. Olivia was shaking. She hated feeling alone, like no-one loved her.

She decided she needed to leave again. This time she would move home. She picked up her phone and called her Captain. She asked for a transfer, hoping there was an opening in the Special Victims Unit. Really anything but Narcotics was okay with her.

Olivia packed her things and sold her apartment before heading home to Manhattan.

She pulled up in front of her old apartment and got out the car, inhaling the stale air of home. Olivia Benson was finally home. She now just had to see Elliot and hope he would forgive her.

First she called Alex and Casey. She invited them over to help her get settled. They talked for hours. They had missed almost a year of each other's lives, so they had a lot of catching up to do.

"So Liv, I work with Elliot. You should visit the precinct with me one day. He really misses you." Alex informed her best friend.

Olivia took a deep breath, trying to think of how to answer that.

Tears formed in her beautiful eyes as she nodded. "Yeah, let's do that." She owed it to Elliot.

"Ok. Come with me tomorrow morning. I need to go grab some files from him anyway. We better go now. I'll pick you up at eight, so be ready. Dress nicely." Alex said with a smile before she and Casey each gave her a hug.

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That night Olivia couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned but nothing felt right. She got up and took a soothing bath with lavender oil, hoping it could calm her down. She got out, finally sleepy, and went to bed. She slept until 6 AM, when she got up and debated on what to wear.

Olivia looked through her boxes that she hadn't unpacked yet. She was throwing clothes all over the place, trying to look for something nice to wear. She debated on a silky red halter neck dress or a long black skirt and a white halter neck top.

She decided on the skirt, since the dress pretty much said 'do me now' and she quickly dressed before doing her hair and make up.

Alex arrived at 7:45 to see an anxious Olivia.

"I can't do this, Lex...What am I supposed to say to him!?"

"Livvie, he doesn't hate you. He misses you. Let's go, huh?"

Olivia nodded and locked her apartment door behind her. The car ride to the precinct was an uncomfortable silence until Alex spoke up.

"Olivia?"

"Yes?" She asked not looking at her friend.

"I've never seen you this quiet..."

"I'm just nervous. I really don't think I can do this Alex. Maybe tomorrow?" Olivia attempted to bargain.

"NO. Olivia Marie Benson, you are gonna march your ass up there and you are gonna talk to him. You owe him an explanation, and you know it." Alex knew she was being rough, but she also knew her best friend. She knew Liv just needed a good push in the right direction.

Olivia sighed and nodded. "You're right, Lex... you're right. I'm such a screw up...such a freaking screw up!" She started cursing at herself, leaving Alex shocked since she'd never heard Olivia talk like that about herself.

"No, no, Livvie!! That's not what I was saying at all!! I just know you miss him, and I know he misses you! Please, just talk to him?" Alex was pleading at this point. It was something she wasn't particularly fond of, but desperate times, called for desperate measures.

Olivia took a deep breath. "Ok..."

"Ok." Alex replied as she continued to drive closer and closer to the precinct.

When they arrived they walked in to the building and up to the squad room. Alex walked in while Olivia waited outside for a moment.

"Elliot?"

Elliot looked up at Alex. "Yeah?"

"Could y-you um-follow me? Just right h-here...out the do-door." Alex was stuttering, a nervous habit she detested.

Elliot looked at Alex like she was nuts, but he complied. He walked out the door behind Alex and his breathe caught in his throat.

"Olivia?"


	6. The Mark She Left

**A/N: We are so happy with how well this story is going, thanks again all the wonderful reviews! We hope you like this chapter. Please read and review.**

**Disclaimer: We don't own anything to do with the show or anything else...**

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"Elliot. Uh, hi." Olivia stammered, making sure to not look the man she had avoided for a year in those captivating eyes.

"Holy shit, Olivia! You look great!" Elliot was more than excited about Olivia's reappearance. He had questions about where she had been, but that could wait. Right now, all he could see was her.

"You can hate me...I'll understand." She whispered sadly, looking at the tiled floor.

Elliot gently put his large calloused hand under her chin and lifted it up. "I don't hate you, Liv. I missed you."

Olivia finally looked up into his Sapphire pools as the tears started forming in her own. Alex quietly excused herself, and walked into the squad room to ward off anyone who dared try and interrupt.

"Elliot, I--I mean we, uh we need to...to..." Olivia was beginning to cry, and cursing herself for doing so.

"Talk. I know. Let me go talk to my captain and see if I can have a break until after lunch." Elliot smiled as best he could before walking away.

Olivia nodded and sat on the bench as he walked off to talk to his captain.

Alex walked out and found Olivia sitting on the bench. She sat down beside her.

"Are you alright, Liv?"

Olivia nodded. "I think so. Elliot went to talk to the captain so we can have a proper talk."

"Good." Alex said smiling. "Livvie, look at me." When Olivia complied Alex continued. "You can do this, Livvie. You are so strong. You just tell him everything. Don't hold back, promise?"

Standing up to hug her best friend she nodded. "Thanks, Lexy. I'll call you after."

Elliot emerged from the squad room at that moment and smiled.

"Let's go, Liv. Are you hungry cause we could try the new Chinese restaurant two blocks away."

Olivia nodded. "That would be nice."

"Great." Elliot replied as he took her hand in his, walking to the elevator.

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At the restaurant, they were seated and had placed their order when Elliot slid his hand across the table and took Olivia's. "Are you ready to talk, honey?"

"El, please don't judge me on everything I am about to say, okay?"

"Olivia, I wouldn't judge you even if you committed a crime and framed me. I love you Olivia, please say you know that."

"I--I was raped a few years ago, a gun point in my own home. My mother witnessed the whole thing. I kept begging her to make the man stop..." she whispered as she tried to hold back her tears but it was hard to keep them back anymore.

"Oh, Liv..."Elliot began before Olivia stopped him.

"Please, just let me get this all out." She whispered.

"I ended up pregnant from it but my mother forced me to abort it when I was six weeks along...that was the last time I ever spoke to her. I wanted to make emends. She was my mother and I still loved her... I never got to make things right between us." She whispered and began to sob.

Elliot stroked her hand as she went on. "After she died, I felt horrible. When you took such good care of me, I felt alive again. I wanted you and me to be something, El. I still do. I don't know what happened next, it was such a whirlwind. I blinked and the next thing I knew I was in Albany dating that jerk."

"What jerk, honey? Did he hurt you? If he did I will break his neck..." He spoke softly.

Olivia shook her head. "No. He didn't hurt me physically. Just mentally but I am a big girl. I can take care of myself. I have done for years." She replied in a sad whisper.

"But you shouldn't have to, baby. Let me take care of you. Let me make you happy." Elliot was pleading at this point, but he meant every word.

By this time they had finished eating and Elliot paid.

"Look baby, I have to get back to work, can I come over after?"

Olivia nodded, sadly. She didn't want him to leave. "Yeah, see you." She replied before rushing out of the restaurant.

"Liv!!!" He called out to her, hoping that she would stop. Elliot realized that he'd upset her by saying that he had to return to work.

Elliot called his captain, told him a white lie about some bad sushi, and set off to find Liv. He went to her apartment, then his, then Alex and Casey's office, but all to no avail. He had nearly given up as he thought about the cemetery.

He found Olivia, kneeling in front of her mother's grave crying and it looked like she was talking but Elliot couldn't make out what she way saying from where he was.

He slowly walked up and he could finally hear what she was saying.

"Mom, I miss you so much. I can't believe I never told you goodbye. Why did you have to turn to that fucking bottle again, mom? I could've helped you! I want to hate you mom. You have left your mark on me. I am so messed up because of you! Now Elliot wants to take care of me. Mom, I've never had that. I can't hate you though. You gave me life. You are the reason I am here to love. I love you mom."

"Liv." Elliot whispered as he walked up.

Olivia turned and looked at him, startled.

"Are you stalking me? How did you find me?" She asked as she wiped away her tears.

Elliot kneeled down beside her and took her soft olive toned hands in his. "I'm not stalking you. I was looking all over for you. I have the rest of the day off, so let's spend some time together."

"Okay, Elliot. Just let me say bye to my mom. I'll meet you in the car."

She looked back at her mother's headstone. "Thanks mom, I get the message. I'll let Elliot in and I'll be okay. I love you."

Elliot sat in the driver's seat of the car listening to the radio when he saw Olivia walking up. He could see how lonely and depressed she felt and he was determined to help her through this rough patch.

Olivia opened the front passenger door and got in before buckling her seat belt.

"Liv?" He questioned as he put his key in the ignition.

"Yeah?" she replied looking at him.

"Are you alright? I'm here, for whatever you need, I promise."

"Thanks El, there is something I need..."

"Anything, baby."

"I need..." Olivia laughed nervously and Elliot picked up on it.

"What, Liv?" You can tell me." He spoke softly.

"I need your love and support right now. If it isn't too much trouble of course."

Elliot took her hands in his and kissed them. "No trouble at all because I love you."


	7. Breaking in the New Detective

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

**Please read and review.**

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Olivia woke up in Elliot's arms, just like she had always wanted. She smiled as she looked over at Elliot, who was lightly snoring and saw his eyelids fluttering. He was dreaming; he was so damn adorable.

She just laid there for a while, watching him sleep until he smiled.

"Morning sexy." He mumbled half asleep with his eyes still closed.

Olivia gave him a quick tender kiss on the lips. "Morning handsome."

"What you got planned for today while I'm at work?" Elliot asked.

"Oh, I am supposed to meet my new captain and squad today." Olivia said with a smile, she was nervous, but so excited.

"Oh really, what precinct?"

"Well my old captain is gonna call and tell me later."

Elliot got up to take a shower and Olivia fixed breakfast for the both of them.

Elliot walked in to the kitchen dressed in dark blue jeans and a black shirt, to the smell of bacon and eggs. He wrapped his arms around Olivia's waist as she stood in from of the stove.

"Mmm, smells wonderful." He whispered in her ear and kissed her on the cheek.

"Thanks." She whispered back and turned a piece of bacon.

About an hour later, Elliot headed out to work. Olivia decided to go ahead and get ready. She showered and dressed in some black pants with pinstripes, a white blouse and a jacket that matched her pants. She wore her hair down and straight. She left for her new precinct. The 1-6. When El had asked this morning what precinct she was going to she fibbed when she answered. She knew exactly where she was going. What she didn't know was that her boyfriend was her new partner.

Olivia walked in to the SVU squad room, she saw Elliot sitting at his desk.

"Hey Liv. What are you doing here?" Elliot asked confused, looking up from the computer.

"Hi" she said, smiling, as she walked straight to Captain Cragen's office.

She knocked on the door.

"Come in." A voice from inside called out.

"Hi, I'm Olivia Benson. I just transferred." Olivia said smiling.

"Hello, nice to meet you." He said as he walked around to her.

He shook her hand. "Elliot Stabler will be your partner."

Olivia nodded and smiled. "We've met."

They walked out together and Olivia just stared at Elliot smiling.

He grinned as he asked, "What's goin on here?"

"Detective, this is Olivia Benson, she's your new partner, but I've heard you've already met." Cragen said smiling.

Elliot nodded. "Yes...ah...We're actually dating..." He replied nervously.

"Well, Elliot, I'd think you were stupid if you weren't...and if you don't tell...I won't." Captain said walking back to his office.

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other and smiled before sharing a quick kiss.

"Ok, ok. That's enough of that. Get a room." Munch said from his seat.

"So, we got any cases now?" Olivia asked grinning at Munch.

Munch laughed. "Nope. But it's nice to meet you. I'm John Munch."

"Olivia Benson." She replied and shook the older man's hand.

"So I've heard. You're right Elliot, she is a hottie." Munch winked at Olivia.

"ELLIOT!!" Olivia screamed.

"I didn't I swear!!" Elliot pleaded, and glared at Munch.

"He really didn't, sweetie. I was just messin' with ya." Munch grinned.

"Oh, okay." Olivia said with a laugh.

Cragen decided to walk back out of his office then.

"Benson, Stabler. New case. A ten year old boy sexually abused by a teacher. At P.S 114."

"Sure Cap." Elliot said escorting his girl out of the squad room. "Benson, Stabler." He thought to himself. "It sounds so good together."

As the elevator door closed, they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Olivia's lips clashed against his, starting a very passionate kiss.

When the doors opened Alex and Casey were standing there gawking at them both.

"Well I guess that lunch went well!" Alex exclaimed.

They hurriedly pulled apart, and Elliot began wiping off his mouth.

"Uh--hey guys." Olivia stuttered.

"Well, you're the happiest I've seen in a long time, Liv." Casey said with a smile.

"Hey Elliot, much sure you take good care of her." Alex added.

Elliot was blushing. "Come on, Liv. We've got to go." He said, taking her hand in his before they walked out of the elevator leaving Casey and Alex laughing.

After the case Casey and Alex decided to take the love-birds to lunch. They wanted to apologize for earlier, and of course get the newest gossip on their life and love.

They walked in to the squad room and saw Munch but not the two love birds.

"Where are the love birds?" Alex asked.

Munch pointed upstairs. "Cribs."

"Doing what?" Casey asked.

Laughing, Munch held up his hands. "Don't ask, don't tell."

The ADAs laughed and they walked upstairs. They could hear moaning coming from inside cribs.

"Please tell me that they aren't doing the 'ol nasty at work. Can't they wait to have sex at home?" Alex said and nudged Casey's arm.

They listened for a second until they heard "Oh, God, ELLLL!"

Alex bursted into giggling fit and Casey tried to shush her. They knocked on the door loudly and yelled.

"Open up, it's the police!"

"Oh my God, Elliot!! Wait -- screw y'all! We are the police." Olivia hollered.

"No, baby, screw me." Elliot said seductively, as Casey and Alex ran down the stairs giggling.

Munch looked up. "I don't wanna know." and shook his head and they ran out the squad room, still laughing like school girls.

Upstairs in cribs, Olivia and Elliot were laughing as they continued to make love.

"They're gonna tell everyone." Elliot groaned as he continued to thrust in and out.

Olivia moaned. "I don't give a shit. Speed up would you?"

"Yes ma'am." Elliot hollered as he started pounding faster into Olivia. He reached his peak at the same time she did and they screamed each other's names which were most definitely heard down stairs.

Munch and a few other detectives looked upstairs and raised their eyebrows or wolf whistled or just laughed before going back to their work.

About 15 minutes later the dynamic duo walked downstairs, both of them straightening their clothes. The wolf whistles came back with some whooping and the hollering which went on till captain came out screaming.

"What the hell is going on out here?!" He yelled at his out of control detectives.

"Oh it ain't out here cap, it's up there." Munch said chuckling and pointing to the two walking downstairs

"Benson, Stabler. My office!!"

"Oh no." Olivia whispered.

"We've been busted."


	8. Bad Timing

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait but we're back and writing together again. Please read and review.**

**Disclaimer: If we owned it Elliot and Olivia would be going at it instead of hiding their love for each other. Lol!**

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Olivia and Elliot walked into Captain Cragen's office with their heads hung low.

"You want to be separated on your first day?!" Cragen hollered, the smoked practically pouring from his ears. "Where the hell do you get off screwin' in my cribs on the clock?!"

"Actually Captain--" Olivia interrupted, "For one, we got off against the wall...and on the cot...but we were off the clock!!" Olivia was trying to be serious, but she couldn't help but smile.

Elliot was standing beside her, holding her hand while trying not to laugh... but he couldn't help it. He burst out laughing, pissing Cragen off more.

"Go home you two. I'll see you in the morning and NO MORE sex in the cribs. I mean it. Now get out of here."

"Yes sir." Both guilty parties said before exiting the office, both of their faces blood red from holding in their laughter.

In his office Don couldn't help but snicker a little himself. 'Ah, to be young again.' He thought to himself.

"Oh my God, El, that was so damn embarrassing." Olivia said as they stepped in to the elevator, hand in hand.

Elliot kissed her on the cheek. "Yeah it was."

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A few weeks later, the dynamic duo, as they had so been named by their collegues, had gotten all the spontaneous sex out of their system and was no longer testing their captain's patience. Well, with sex at least. There was always Elliot's temper or Olivia's thoughts that she was invincible. Don always pushed that off though. They were his two best detectives, and he knew it.

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Elliot and Olivia went on a case one Monday morning where a four year old girl was being physically abused by her father.

Olivia was in the interrogation room with him while Elliot was watching through the 2 way mirror.

"Do you get off on hitting your own daughter, you bastard?" She seethed in his face.

"What the fuck do you know about being a parent?! You don't know what I have to deal with. You aren't a parent are you?" The suspect growled right back. When Olivia didn't answer he laughed. "That's what I thought bitch, get out of my face."

Before Olivia could react he got up and threw her against the wall. She slid down the wall, unconscious. Elliot and Cragen ran in. Elliot ran to Olivia as Cragen cuffed Max Langdon, the father of the girl.

"Liv, baby, can you hear me?" When she didn't respond, Elliot screamed "Get me a bus!"

Blood was pooling into Elliot's hands from the back of Olivia's head. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all.

"Liv, hold on, baby. Be strong. Be strong." Elliot murmured in her ear as Munch ran in and called 911. "Oh God, I'm losing her pulse... Come on, baby. Please don't give up on me." He pleaded with her.

When the bus arrived, Olivia barely had a pulse, and she had stopped breathing completely. Elliot had been doing CPR since she stopped but it wasn't working. The EMT's hooked her to a portable ventilator before rushing her to Mercy General Hospital, with the whole SVU team on their tail.

As Olivia was being worked on Elliot was pacing around the waiting room.

"Elliot, sit down." Cragen said softly.

"I can't. I need to know that she is alright. I wanted to propose to her tonight..." He said trying to hold back tears.

About an hour later, the ER doctor came in. He look stone faced, which the crew interpreted as bad news.

"What is it, Doc?" Cragen spoke up first.

"I've got Ms. Benson stable--"

"Well, that's great!" Fin said.

"Yes, that's a step up but you didn't let me finish. Ms. Benson's in a coma. She lost a lot of blood and when she stopped breathing her brain was deprived of oxygen. She's on a ventilator. She could wake in an hour, or a month, there's no way to know."

"Oh my God, I have to see her. Please." He pleaded.

"Sure, right this way, sir." Dr Johnson, the tall grey haired man said.

Elliot followed him down some random halls until they reached a room with 12C on the door. He opened the door and gasped in shock.

Olivia looked so small. Her once olive toned skin had turned ashy. Her chest heaved up and down thanks to the machine. There were two IV's in her, not to mention the plethora of other tubes and wires running in and out of her.

Elliot was having a hard time keeping back his tears. Just a few hours ago they were talking and she was laughing at something that he said and now she was hanging on to life by a thread. He sat on the chair beside the bed and held her hand.

Cragen and Casey came in after convincing the nurse on duty that they were Olivia's father and sister. They gasped at her appearance. They couldn't believe that Olivia, once so strong and brave, was the same person lying in this bed.

They saw Elliot crying and whispering something to her. They all hoped that she would wake soon and be alright.

"I think we should leave him and come back in the morning." Cragen said softly.

Casey nodded in agreement and took one more look at Olivia before following Cragen out.

Elliot was praying silently. "Lord I know I am not perfect. But she doesn't deserve this. Let her come back to me." He began to sob uncontrollably, until he fell asleep laying beside his girlfriend's hand.

Elliot woke to feel someone stroking back his hair. He looked up to see Olivia awake and smiling at him.

"Hey." She whispered in a croaky voice.

"Livvie?" Elliot whispered. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, El. I'm O---" Olivia suddenly went white again and started shaking. "El. Get. Help." was all she could get out. Elliot jumped up and started screaming for someone to help him. The doctors and nurses ran in and tried to stabilize her once more.

"You need to leave, sir. She's seizing! I need room here!" Dr Johnson yelled out as a nurse escorted Elliot out.

"Be strong, Livvie. You can pull through this baby!" Elliot called out to her as she seized.

Elliot paced in front of the door as his girlfriend was having an episode inside. He had called Cragen who had called everyone else. Every time he looked inside he would see Olivia's body thrashing around every where and the nurses hurriedly performing their life saving techniques.

Elliot looked up the ceiling and sighed. "Please God; please let her pull through this. I love her so much. Please." He begged.

A couple minutes later the nurse who escorted him out walked out, up to him. "She's a fighter. She's stable, you can go back in."

"Thanks." Elliot replied and walked back in to the hospital room.

Elliot ran to her bed and kissed her cheeks, her nose, her forehead, and her lips. He was so scared that he was gonna lose her he didn't wanna miss a second. She had fallen unconscious again, and she looked worse than before if that was possible. The doctor came in a few minutes later and told Elliot that she would need to be taken for some tests.

"We need to run some tests on her. We will bring her back in here when we are finished, I promise. She is one lucky young lady to have a man like you looking out for her." He said before following the nurses who were pushing Olivia's bed out of the room.

Elliot sunk in to the chair and had his face in his hands.

About two hours later the doctor brought Olivia back in awaking Elliot from his nap. "We should have the results in about an hour."

"Thanks, Doc." Elliot said shaking his hand.

An hour later he came in to find a room full of people. "Well, I'm glad you're all here...I'm sorry to have to tell you but Ms. Benson has..."


	9. Open Your Eyes

**Disclaimer: Own nothing. Please read and review.**

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**Last time:**

An hour later he came in to find a room full of people. "Well, I'm glad you're all here...I'm sorry to have to tell you but Ms. Benson has..."

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…temporary brain damage---" The doctor said but was interrupted before he could finish.

"Oh my God, will she be alright?" Elliot interrupted.

"Hopefully she will be just fine. I wanna keep her for a few days for observation. The seizures should stop as soon as the swelling goes down. She'll have some serious headaches, so I'm prescribing some heavy medications." The Doctor finished in a rush.

Elliot sighed and slowly nodded. "Well she will stay with me when she is released. I'll need some time off, Capt."

"I thought you would say that so when she is released you will have six weeks paid leave to take care of her." Cragen replied before looking sadly at the woman that he considered a daughter.

"Thanks, Cap." Elliot said as the nurse came in.

"Okay, everyone, I'm sorry to have to tell you but as Ms. Benson is unconscious, she still needs her peace and quiet. I'm gonna have to ask you all to leave." As Elliot began to protest, the nurse stopped him.

"I'm sorry Mr. Stabler, but you can come back in the morning. If anything changes, you will be notified." She said with a sad smile, knowing how much he wanted to stay.

Everyone piled out of the room and Elliot sadly nodded and followed them out until the doctor stopped him. "On second thought you can stay Detective Stabler, she might benefit from it."

Elliot's eyes lit up. "Thank you so much Doctor! I'll see you all in the morning." He called to his colleagues and boss.

He then sat down in the chair beside the bed and held her hand. "Please wake up, Livvie. I need you..." He whispered.

But she didn't wake up. He sat there all night staring at her, not wanting to miss a thing. Occasionally her body would twitch involuntary, but the nurse said that it was just her brain, and nothing to worry about. He watched her chest heave up and down, and had trained his own to match hers perfectly. He knew she would be okay. She just had to be.

He must've drifted off to sleep because when he woke, the sun was up and someone was watching him. He could feel it.

Olivia had been staring at him for a little over an hour now, and he look so exhausted when he finally opened his eyes. She thought to herself, 'What has been goin on? The last thing I remember is that guy getting in my face about his daughter.' But then he woke up.

"El..." She said softly. "What happened?" She asked before he could respond.

"You don't remember?" He asked sadly.

Olivia shook her head and sighed.

"What is the last thing you remember, baby?"

"The guy that I was interrogating was in my face." She answered.

"Oh, baby. He threw you against a wall, and you head was split open. You have been in the hospital for about two days. The doctor says you have some temporary brain damage, and that the seizures and twitching should stop when you brain goes back to normal." He said. He knew it was a lot for her, but she needed to know.

Olivia was in shock. She ran a shaky hair through her soft brown hair, trying to come to terms with this new information. Her lips were quivering.

"What?!" She asked trying to hold back rebellious tears.

"Livvie, settle down. If you get too upset, it might cause another seizure. Do you need some pain medicine for your head?" Elliot was getting worried about his girlfriend.

Olivia shook her head but winced at the rough movement.

"Don't lie to me, baby. You don't need to act like superwoman all the time." He said and pushed the button for the nurse.

She tried to smile, but it was all she could do to keep her eyes open. Her head hurt so badly. She had never felt anything like it before.

Her body started to feel weird, her hands were twitching. She didn't know what was happening and it was freaking her out.

Elliot, who was talking to the nurse, turned around to see her face as she twitched. "Honey, that's normal. It's gonna happen every now and then until the swelling goes down. The key is you MUST try and stay calm."

"CALM?! Are you fucking kidding me?! My body is spazing out and I have no control over it!"

"I know, Liv. I'm so sorry. I wish it were me." Elliot took her by the hand, and pushed her hair out of her face.

Olivia sighed. She hadn't meant to go off at him. It wasn't Elliot's fault and she knew that.

"I'm so sorry, El. I...I just hate feeling out of control." She apologized.

"It's alright, baby. I understand. No harm done. Just try and rest, the doctor should be here by now." He said and pressed the button again.

"El, I feel really sick all of a sudden." She spoke weakly before closing her eyes.

"Baby? Olivia?" She wasn't responding. She was going into another seizure and the damn doctor was taking her time. He turned her to her side, something he watched them do before, and it was a good thing too. As soon as he got her turned she began vomiting uncontrollably. The doctors rushed in and sent Elliot out. When he looked over his shoulder, he could swear he say blood coming out of her mouth.

"Oh God! Not again...Not again." He thought to himself as he sat in a chair outside her room with his head in his hands. He couldn't look in the room, he couldn't bare too. It was hurting too much. "What did she do to deserve all this?" He thought to himself. "Why? Why?"

Somewhere in the room he heard, "She's flat-lining, we gotta resuscitate!" Elliot screamed "NO!" as more nurses came in with the defib machine. He had collapsed on the spot and was as scared as he had ever been in his life.

Elliot began to bang on the window. "Please pull through this, baby! I need you, Liv! Please!" He begged and as if she could hear him, the heart monitor started beeping again.

"We got her back." The doctor declared.

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Back at the 1-6, Fin had hung up his phone for the fifth time. "I got no answer from Elliot, or Olivia's room. You think everything is okay, Cap?"

"I dunno; we'll take a trip up there after we get this perp to confess." Don replied.

"Well, I'm going up there now, Liv's my friend, and if something is wrong, I wanna know." Casey called out as she picked up her coat and walked out the squad room door.

Casey got in to her car and drove back to the hospital. She walked in to Olivia's hospital room to find Elliot holding Olivia's hand and crying.

Olivia looked much worse then earlier. Her normally olive toned skin was nearly just as pale as the white hospital issue bed linen and she had an oxygen mask on her nose and mouth.

"Elliot! What the hell happened?!" Casey said walking to Elliot's side and putting her hand on his shoulder.

"She woke up, and then she had a seizure and then she started throwing up blood, and--" He had burst into tears.

"El, what happened?"

"She flat-lined Case. She died on us. I was so scared that she wouldn't come back. I love her so much. She hasn't woke up yet...the doctor's are worried."

"Oh my God!" Casey cried and went to Olivia's other side and held her other hand. "Liv, you need to pull through this. We all need you. The future SVU victims need you. Please fight this." She whispered in the detective's ear.

"Every time she wakes up something bad happens." Elliot murmured with silent tears. "What did she do to deserve this, Casey? What?" He was asking her but she didn't know how to respond.

Not knowing what to say she just rubbed his back soothingly and said, "Liv will get through this Elliot. She's strong and you know she's too damned hard-headed to give up."

Elliot sadly smiled and nodded but then he looked down at Olivia. "Did you just squeeze my hand, Livvie? If you can hear me squeeze my hand." He spoke softly.

She squeezed his hand but refused to open her eyes.

"Oh my God, Liv. Open your eyes honey. Please." He said as he rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb.

"Open your eyes, Liv." Casey said when Olivia didn't open them.

"El? Case? I can hear you but my eyes won't open. What's going on?" Olivia said softly. Her eyelids were fluttering but not even opening a smidge. Elliot and Casey exchanged a look of horror as Elliot reached, yet again for the nurse's button.

"Oh gosh. Liv keep trying to open your eyes." Casey said as Elliot kept pressing the nurse button.

"I am trying, Case. I really am." She said and Casey and Elliot noticed a couple stray tears stream down her cheeks from her still closed eyes.

"What's wrong with me?" She asked in a scared child tone.

The nurse walked in, in a rush to see what was going on now.

"What seems to be the problem, Ms. Benson?" She said noticing Olivia was talking.

"My eyes--I can't get them open." Olivia replied in that same scared tone.

"Oh god. Olivia. I need you to stop trying right now. I'm going to call the neurologist."

"Wait, what's goin on?!" Casey cried.

"I better not say anymore. But do NOT under any circumstances let her try and open her eyes."


	10. Loved and Not Forgotten

**A/N: We hope you like this chapter. Please read and review.**

**Disclaimer: As you know if we owned it Elliot and Olivia would be going at it like crazy. Lol!**

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The nurse ran out to get the doctor.

"Liv, stop trying, honey." Elliot said softly, once he noticed that she was still trying to open her eyes.

"But I want to see, El. Please." She was almost begging.

Elliot gently kissed her forehead. "I know, baby. I know. But you heard what the nurse said."

Elliot hated having to chastise her for trying to see. He wanted to look into those chocolate pools about as bad as she wanted to open them. He knew something was wrong. His brain was spinning with all of the things that happened in the last three days. He hardly noticed Casey had broke down at his feet.

"Oh God, Casey!" He said softly. "You have to be strong, honey. Olivia needs us to be strong."

"Casey, please don't cry." Olivia said with her eyes still closed.

Casey was about to respond but the nurse returned with Olivia's doctor and a neurologist.

"We're taking Olivia for another MRI. We'll bring her back soon."

"El!" Olivia cried. She was scared because she couldn't see what was happening.

The doctor sighed. "You two can come but you will need to wait in the waiting room."

The doctor and the nurse pulled the bed into the Radiology Unit and stopped by the waiting room so they could say goodbye.

"Livvie, sweetie, be strong. I need new shoes, and you are the only one that will shop with me!" Casey said trying to cheer her up.

Olivia smiled faintly. "I'll be okay guys. This can't beat me. I won't let it." Elliot kissed her on her fore-head and told her he loved her as they rolled her away.

As Elliot and Casey sat in the boring, white painted waiting room, the time drifted by slowly. It seems like hours later that the doctor returned with an emotionless expression so Elliot and Casey didn't know what to expect.

"Please tell me that she is alright." Elliot begged.

"Well, I have good news, and bad. The good being we found no abnormalities in the MRI. The bad being that we have no idea why she can't open her eyes. We are running a CT scan now. The results of that will decide if we need to administer a flash test." The older looking Doctor said.

Elliot nodded sadly. "Ok...Thanks."

"I'll let you know as soon as I know." He replied and walked back to where he had come from.

Casey looked at Elliot. "Gosh, I really hope this day doesn't get any worse."

Elliot leaned forward in the chair and looked down at the grayish tiled floor.

"Yeah."

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A few long and boring hours later Olivia's bed came back in and she was now awake with her eyes wide open.

"ELLIOT, CASEY!!! I can see you!" Olivia said practically squealing with delight.

"What? How is that possible doctor?" Casey asked.

"We have no idea, Ms. Novak. She just came out of the CT and they were wide open. We have no explanation."

Elliot who hadn't said anything up to this point smiled and said "I don't need one. My baby's okay."

He leaned down and kissed her on the lips. A kiss that Olivia returned.

"I'm so happy I can see again." She whispered.

"We're glad that you can see again, Ms. Benson. I'll be back to check on you in about half an hour." The doctor said and walked off.

The rest of the 1-6 crew came in about 20 minutes later and found Olivia laughing and carrying on. Her color was beginning to come back finally and she seemed almost normal. No twitching. No seizures. Nothing. After Casey and Elliot filled everyone in on the gruesome day that Liv had, they all sat around talking and reminiscing about the good times.

As they all talked to each other, they almost forgot about Olivia in the bed. Elliot turned to face her and she was sound asleep. She looked so peaceful. You wouldn't even think that she gone through so much that day.

"I think Liv was bored." He joked to the squad.

They all looked at her and smiled before each of them gave her a kiss on the forehead and piled out of the room since visiting hours were now over.

Elliot decided that since Olivia was stable and asleep that he would run home, shower, and change clothes. He asked Casey to stay and she happily obliged.

Elliot got home and did his business and headed straight back to the hospital but not before stopping by Liv's to pick up a few things for her. He went to the store and got her some chocolate, since he knew that she loved chocolate especially dark chocolate. He also got her the new issue of 'People' the magazine since she would be in hospital for a few days and would get bored.

When he got back, Casey and Olivia were chatting it up about their next shopping extravaganza. Casey had just told Olivia that as soon as she got out of here, they were going for makeovers and mani-pedis.

"Sounds great, Case. I can't wait... Hey El." She greeted him with a smile.

"Hey baby." He greeted her back and gave her a kiss on the cheek before passing her the dark chocolate and magazine. "Here you go."

"Thanks, El. I'll eat the chocolate later when they try make me eat the disgusting hospital food." She said with a laugh.

Elliot was so excited at Olivia's sudden change in condition. It was like this was some other day for her and she just happened to be in a hospital bed.

"How are you feeling?" He decided to ask all of a sudden.

"Fine." She replied with a fake smile.

"Liv..." He pushed.

"Okay, fine. My head is throbbing. I feel like it is about to blow up." Olivia said, closing her eyes so she didn't have to see the sad look on her boyfriend's face.

Elliot sighed and kissed her hand. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm just worried about you."

Olivia nodded. "I know. I'm sorry for snapping at you...I just hate hospitals." She replied sadly.

Elliot got up on the bed with her and wrapped his arms around her. Olivia rested her tired head on his bare chest.

"I'll leave you two alone. I'll come visit you tomorrow, Liv." Casey said as she stood.

Olivia nodded.

When Casey left Elliot looked at Olivia and noticed she was crying.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He asked sitting up to look at her properly.

"I'm scared..." She admitted in a weak whisper.

"Scared of what, baby?" He asked in concern.

"Scared that I'm going to suffer another seizure or something at anytime."

Elliot rubbed soothing circles on her back and kissed her on the head. "I know, baby but hopefully you won't."

Olivia continued to cry and Elliot consoled her until he felt her breathing regulate and she began to snore slightly. He smiled to himself thinking of how cute she was. He moved her gently so he could get up after hearing his phone vibrate. 'Munch' was flashing on the screen. He didn't want to risk waking Olivia by moving so he just opened up his cell and answered the call.

"Hey bud, what's up?" Elliot called out quietly.

"Elliot. Is Liv asleep?" Munch said urgently.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, cause she probably doesn't need to hear this right now."

"John, what's going on?" He was getting really worried.

"Elliot. Captain had a heart attach. He's in the ER at Mercy General right now. It's not looking good." John said in a rush.

"Oh God! Ok, I'm on my way." He said and slowly released himself from Olivia's grip, trying not to wake her but it was too late.

"What's going on, El?"

Elliot sighed.

"Tell me, El."

"Captain had a heart attack. He is down in the emergency room."

"Oh no." Olivia replied and tried to get up.

"Liv. Wait. Let me at least get you a wheel chair. You aren't ready to walk yet." Elliot said running out the door.

They got to the ER to see the whole crew sitting in a huddle. Casey was hysterical. "She was talking to Don about how good Olivia was doing when he collapsed. She's in shock." Fin said cradling Casey in her arms.

Elliot wheeled Olivia's wheelchair in front of Casey and Olivia took her best friend's hand.

"Case..."

Casey looked up. "Hey Liv." She replied in a whisper.

"Did you give him aspirin to thin out his blood?"

Casey nodded. "Yeah. I remember you telling me about it once when you saved someone."

Olivia smiled. "Then he hopefully will be fine." She said, hoping that she was right.

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A tired looking doctor came out and surveyed the group. It was like _deja vu_ for everyone but Olivia. They were flashing back to when Olivia had gotten hurt, especially since this doctor looked a lot like Liv's. "Are you al with Donald Cragen?" When everyone nodded he went on.

"Sir, you might want to sit down." The doctor said to Elliot.

"Why? He's alright isn't he?"

The doctor stood there with any emotion on his face. It was unbelievable.

"Well?" Fin spoke up.

"Come on; just tell us for heaven sake!" Olivia yelled.

"Calm down, baby." Elliot said as he held her hands in his.

The doctor sighed and squatted down in front of the gang.

"I--I'm so sorry but...But we lost him…"


	11. Where's Your Head At?

**A/N: PLease don't hurt us. Lol! Please read and review.**

** Disclaimer: Own nothing that belongs to someone else.**

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At the sounds of the doctor's words Casey and Olivia burst into tears. Fin, Munch, and Elliot looked shocked but they too eventually began to cry. The doctor walked away in effort to keep up his professionalism.

Huang walked in to see them all huddled up and in tears, and he knew what must have happened. As he walked over to the group a nurse walked out and asked who was in charge of making the funeral arrangements.

"I am." Munch said sadly as he stood.

The doctor nodded. "Come with me then."

Casey began to sob. "I gave him aspirin and he still died."

Olivia rubbed the ADA's arm. "It's not your fault, Case. It's not your fault."

Just as Casey was about to say something they all heard "Shut the hell up, I am ADA Alexandra Cabot and I demand to know the condition of my friends Donald Cragen and Olivia Benson." Elliot hurried over to her and ushered her over to sit before he broke the news to her.

"Alex. I'm glad you got here safe." Elliot said. Alex immediately bursted into apologies to Olivia and questions about Don.

"Alex, he's dead." Casey whispered.

"What? No, no, no, no. He can't be" She said in shock and took a seat before she fainted.

"I'm afraid that he is." Olivia spoke softly as she wheeled herself over to the blonde ADA.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. And you Olivia. You are in a wheel chair? I'm so sorry I couldn't get here. My mom is so sick. I had to rush to her home in Springfield, Illinois to take care of her, and the snow was so bad I couldn't get back. God, Liv, are you okay?"

"I...ah...I'm fine." She lied through her pearly white teeth, hoping that the ADA wouldn't pick up on it.

"Olivia...I've known you long enough to know when you are lying to me."

"Okay, yeah, but that doesn't matter right now. We need to get to calling people about D-D-" She couldn't finish. New tears formed in her eyes and she began to sob uncontrollably.

Elliot got up to take her to her room but she refused. "No. I want to be here for him. He's the closest thing I have to a dad. Just go get me a painkiller please."

"Sure thing, Liv." He said as he walked to the elevator.

He returned with one painkiller and a bottle of water.

Olivia looked up and took them. "Thanks but could you get me two more?" She asked like it was nothing.

"Liv, you're only supposed to have..."

"Elliot, I am in fucking pain. Just get them." She screamed.

Everyone looked at her in shock and Elliot just turned and walked back to the elevator. She had never cursed at him like that. He knew she was in pain and just wanted her to be better.

"Liv..." Alex said softly, looking in to the detective's deep mocha orbs. "You should apologize to him when he gets back."

Olivia sighed and nodded. "I know and I will it's just everything is all happening at once..."

"I know, honey; but it's not his fault. He just wants you happy." Casey chimed in.

Olivia sighed. "I've just lost the closest thing that I've ever had to a real father." She whispered, sadly.

Elliot came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her and kissed on the head.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, Elliot. I just feel so broken. I don't feel well. After Munch comes back I want to go back to my room, ok?" Olivia was starting to get pale again, undoubtedly from the stress.

Elliot squatted down in front of her. "Of course, babe. You need some more rest anyway." He said and looked up in time to see Munch.

"What's going on, John?"

"They sent his body for the mandatory autopsy and we will be having the service on Tuesday at the Heath & Bros. Funeral Parlor. We need to get a hold of some people for pallbearers, and of course others that want to be included." Munch looked exhausted as he sat down by Alex. "I've made a list." He said pulling it out of his pocket and handing it to Fin.

"I don't even know who some of these people are." Fin said in confusion as he went over the list.

"Some are friends of his from his academy days and from his first years as a cop." John answered.

"Oh ok." Fin nodded.

"I'm gonna call Lennie Briscoe. He knows a lot more about Don's academy days then I do." Munch said standing once again to go make some calls.

"Olivia are you ready to get back to bed?" Elliot asked softly, not wanting his head bitten off again.

Olivia just slowly nodded as she felt her eyelids getting heavy.

"Sleep well, Liv." They all said before Elliot wheeling the sleepy Olivia away.

In the elevator Elliot looked down to find Olivia sound asleep in the wheelchair, and he couldn't help but smile. She looked so beautiful when she slept.

He brushed her cheek after lifting her into bed. She awoke only briefly and he told her he was gonna go back down stairs to help John and he could be back soon. She mumbled some sort of 'mmhmm' before falling back to sleep. Elliot smiled kissing her cheek before he walked out the door.

Olivia woke twenty minutes later, not remembering how she got back in to her hospital room. She frantically looked around for Elliot, only to find that he was no where in sight. Olivia was now angry at him for leaving her side.

She buzzed for the nurse and demanded for more pain medication. The nurse agreed not know Elliot had already came and got her some while they were down stairs. Olivia took them and laid back down willing herself to go back to sleep. She was hurt, mad, and sad all at the same time and that was not a good mix. After the pills kicked in she finally dozed back off.

Elliot walked in a few hours later and was surprised to find her still sleeping. He walked over to her and brushed her cheek. She didn't even flinch which worried him.

"Liv...Liv." He whispered, starting to panic.

He felt for her pulse. When he felt it, he began to shake her. She awoke with a start.

"Elliot, what in the hell are you doing?" She seethed.

He started to say 'Just checking on you' when she grabbed her head in pain and screamed.

"What? What's happening, Liv? Liv?" He was now officially panicking as he kept pressing the call button. "Oh God, Liv! Please not again!"

"Elliot...just...headache...stop...freaking...am fine..." She stuttered. After about 5 minutes the pain subsided, and Olivia was pissed. "Elliot I cannot believe you…'not again'… Like I can help it. It's not my freaking fault. I didn't ask for this you know."

"Liv, you know that it's not what I meant by that...Why are you so angry at me all of a sudden? What did I do wrong?" He asked in confusion.

"What did you do?! What did you do?! You telling me that you don't know?!"

And suddenly she changed. She was calm, and collected. She looked at Elliot, at the fear in his eyes. "I'm sorry honey. I don't know what's come over me. Please don't leave me. I can't be alone."

Elliot stood beside the hospital bed, looking at his girlfriend in total confusion. One minute she was yelling and being hostile toward him and the next minute she was begging him.

What the hell was going on in her head?


End file.
